From Kate Wilde: Am I enough? Am I doing enough? Will I be enough? These are questions that parents of children on the autism spectrum and parents of neuro typical children often ask themselves. These questions are often accompanied by a fear or a judgment that they are not enough.
When I ask a parent to define what enough is, the answers are often result oriented about something their child does in the future. When talking about their special child they may say “If my child changes then I know that I have done enough”. Concerning their neuro typical children they may say, “If my child grows into a stable successful adult then I would have done enough”. By doing this we will wait to feel enough until we see a result, feeling insecure and worrying until that time in the future, robbing ourselves of a happy and confident moment now.
There will always be more that you could have done, something else you could have tried, a different path you could have taken. When parenting any child there is always something more to do as you lay your tired head upon the pillow to sleep. So what is enough?
Whatever you managed to get done that day – that is enough.
What is more important? That you feel good about what you are doing now, offering your child a confident and happy parent – or what you could have done?