FROM BECKY: While teaching The Son-Rise Program to parents who have a children with autism, often the concern of being a good parent comes up while I am guiding them in the process of uncovering beliefs about them and their child. A very common issue is that if they were a good parent then……some version of the following:
My child would never be unhappy/lonely/frustrated if I was a good parent.
My child wouldn’t have been autistic if I was a good parent.
My child would recover faster if I was a good parent.
I would know how to help my child in every situation if I was a good parent.
These are beliefs that society often sells to us or we make up to take care of ourselves. If these beliefs also apply to you, how about reflecting on why you have defined your parenting skills that way and then re-defining what it means to you to be a good parent. Here’s what I define as being a good parent.
That I love my child and want the best for them.
That I am doing my best to help them in each situation, even though I may not know what to do at times.
That if my child is unhappy/lonely/frustrated, then I can help them choose a different way.
That what matters the most to me is that I accept my unique and beautiful child and not how fast they recover/progress.
I would also love to hear other beliefs you have about being a good parent that work for you.
Lots of love xxx