FROM BECKY: Your child looks at you….you try celebrating them. They keep looking……you make something fun happen. They continue to stay fixed on your eyes…..you play a game……they stare right back…..you invite them to participate and they don’t respond……

BUT……
THEY ARE STILL LOOKING!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Maybe your child has a STARING ISM! They just keep looking and looking at you.
BUT……..
THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSION IS KIND OF FLAT!
THEY SEEM TO BE STARING RIGHT THROUGH YOU!
THEIR STARE IS FIXED AND GLAZED OVER!
Recently I worked with a child with Autism in The Son-Rise Program playroom who did this. I celebrated, responded, built many many times from that green light he was giving me. But he didn’t respond, it was a STARING ISM!
I stopped responding and joined him. I stared at him too. I relaxed into feeling love, acceptance and joy as I stared. Just as I would do if I was joining an other ism.

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  • Anonymous

    Hi Becky, thank you for this post, as it applies to us right now. So, what do you do after you join the child in his staring ism? Do you stare at him until he gives you a stronger green light? Would you offer something again or just join until a stronger green light?

    xo,
    Denise

  • Hi Denise,

    I would experiment! Start by continuing to build and maybe build a little longer than you normally would. If they are not responding to you even after a few minutes then join the staring and wait for a stronger green light. Maybe a smile, a deeper quality of eye contact, language or physical contact.

    Have fun!