Imagine the beauty of a sleeping child … all innocent, all goodness, just perfect as is … that’s without looking tenderly into your eyes, without doing a single action (no performance required), without giving you anything – not even a smile, without making any overtures of love or caring, and without any indication that they like you. Hmmm! Odd, isn’t it?! Without this child doing anything, we are perfectly capable of giving ourselves a feeling of fulfillment, of well being and of being encased in love.
This is the essence of The Son-Rise Program at the Autism Treatment Center of America in Sheffield, MA (USA). When we open our minds, hearts and doors to helping children with autism, there are no judgments, no expectations and therefore, no unhappiness involved – only acceptance and excitement for anything the child is doing in this moment … and then the next moment as it unfolds, aware that he/she is always doing the best he/she can.
What would happen if we used that same attitude of full acceptance with ourselves? You may think, “I can’t accept this” and “I certainly couldn’t imagine not judging that”. But we’re not looking to loving these things about ourselves, probably believing that if we did, we wouldn’t be motivated to change them. However, take another look – and see if you’re changing them by judging them.
Not only don’t we see the events of our lives as just perfect as is … we also don’t see ourselves as perfect just the way we are. We believe things like: “I’m not [something] enough”; “I should do better and more in order to be okay”; “I’m a failure”. The more we fall in love with ourselves just as we are, the more we will also be of benefit to our partners, our children, our parents, our siblings, our co-workers and our friends… because we’ll feel happier and more motivated toward going for what we want in a comfortable way. The less we love ourselves, the less we can offer love to others. If we don’t nurture the attitude of The Son-Rise Program inside ourselves, we can’t expect ourselves to be consistent and effective in extending our caring, our useful encouragement, or provide assistance to those most important to us.
So let’s all focus on creating a Son-Rise kind of love in ourselves – and in the world around us – which, we know then keeps expressing itself with more people more of the time – thus manifesting a Son-Rise World. Ahhh!!!
Samahria Lyte Kaufman
Co-Founder The Son-Rise Program
and The Option Institute