From Alison: Loving the joining

From Alison: One of the key parts of any Son Rise program playroom session is the Joining of our child’s exclusive or repetitious behaviour, here’s how that looks in my sessions with my son Jordan.
So I am in the playroom and we have just played a game, now Jordan wants some alone time. He starts to walk in circles around the edge of the room muttering to himself under his breath so quietly that I can hear that he is speaking, but can’t hear what he is saying. I walk with him on the opposite side of the room and mutter softly to myself too. Jordan interrupts his monologue with “Mummy will be quiet” as I am distracting him with my mumblings. So now I walk as gently and quietly as I can so as not to disturb him and I stop speaking. But I still want to join him as closely as I can, but not audibly, as I want to demonstrate my love for him and my acceptance of his choice of activity. So, in my head, I continue my own discussion.
It is at this point that I like to focus on what I want for myself and Jordan. In my head I am saying over and over ‘I love you and I want to play with you, I love you and I want to play with you’. Then I use a visualisation to put that idea out into the room, so with every breath that I exhale I imagine that I am blowing up a huge balloon that fills the playroom with love and playfulness. Or with every breath I imagine blowing out a little playful butterfly that will fly around the room and fill it with love, laughter and playfulness. Another one that I like is, if I feel my level of 3 E’s dropping is to imagine blowing out some little clowns who will bounce around the room doing some fun slapstick antics.
I make up that these visualisations have an effect on the amount of interaction between us. They definately help me focus on my love for Jordan and how much I want him to connect with me. How does joining look in your playroom?

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