Time is on my Side
FROM SIMONE: It has actually been some time since I have written my first and last blog as I took a three week break in my home country of Brazil and the internet connection there wasn’t as reliable as I hoped it to be. I came back longing to write about how my son Thiago behaved so well in the trip, how I am so proud of him and how everybody was impressed with all his changes, but as soon as I arrived last week my computer power blew up and I had to wait another week.
Being this week special for two anniversaries, today it has been two years that both Thiago and I started the Specific Carbohydrate Diet and tomorrow my volunteer Louise will have the honour of spending the 5000th playroom hour with Thiago, I reflected a lot into our Son-Rise Program, our life as a family and about time.
Another coincidence, (if you believe in such things, I prefer to believe that when we really want something the whole universe conspires for us to get it), was that I bought a book in Brazil, not a book about autism or special diets, but a travel book. Who would expect a Son-Rise Mom to buy a travel book, I mean, where do we go but inside our children’s playroom? Well perhaps I wouldn’t normally buy one, but this book was written by an old friend, so I thought I would check it out. He had a career in Marketing, a good job in a successful company, but at 39 he just decided against all wisdom and advice to just travel around the world, travel around Asia mainly, as it had been his dream since we were flatmates here in London back in 1989. I remember being, at the time he travelled, one of the ones who thought he was crazy and immature, little I knew that in that same year of 2005, I was too to embark in the biggest journey of my life, my Son-Rise Program with my son Thiago. While reading my friend’s book and reflecting today about this anniversary, 5000 hours, I thought how similar our journeys had been, even though he travelled to 25 Countries and I never left my son’s room. I thought about how I met fierce opposition for having my son home instead of taking him to school, how I met opposition for keeping him in a room instead of outdoors, for giving him the company of adults instead of other children, for joining him in his isms instead of trying to change his behaviour. Despite all opposition, I too, against all “wisdom” and “researches” followed my heart, I was too 39 years old, I too left my job and my old life behind me and embarked in my journey to the unknown land of autism. I set out to meet my son and for my surprise, I found myself.
It’s amazing how the question of time is on people’s minds, many Parents when asking about Son-Rise they don’t ask about what we do or about what our children do, but how long and how much. How long have you been doing your Son-Rise Program for? How many volunteers have you got? How many hours a week do you do it for? In the race of life there will be always someone ahead and behind you, so being competitive creatures as we are, we decide to race against the clock. We forget something beautiful about the race of life, that it is in fact not a race, we only truly race against ourselves, and if we are the only ones to beat, we are always a winner. This I reckon has been my best finding in the thousands of hours I travelled, the mastering of time. I am through the Option Process a Master of time and space, for when I make myself present, every second in the playroom for my son, time stops, I appreciate every moment and every moment is a gain, a penny in the jar. When joining my son there’s no “Oh my God he is 8 years old and he should be or shouldn’t be doing this” there’s no worries and no regrets, there’s a timeless peace, there’s joy, there’s happiness, there’s myself. How many times we see Parents distraught because it is “too late” or it will take “too long”? My child is “too old” or I am “too old” for this? The question is to what parameter we set our “clocks”? If some indigenous cultures regard a person being the older the better, as he or she would be, no doubt, wiser, why do we dread the passing of time and make the clock our enemy?
I find great wisdom in popular sayings and one I really like is “Never let the time it will take doing something stop you from doing it, time will pass anyway”. And another one, that is mostly said about young people, but that truly is a fact for all of us and our children “You have your whole life ahead of you”, we all do, so why not treasure every moment, why not give yourself a gift: “Being Present”!
– Happy anniversary my baby, you are so special, I have spent many of the 5000 hours of fun in the playroom with you but you have spent them all! –