The Christmas Tree Effect – A Life Saver

FROM GABY: Six years ago I went to my Son-Rise Program Start-Up. It was a  life changing experience and in some ways I see it as the week that I was born anew. My whole way of looking at things changed and I found a strength in me I didn’t know I had. When I think back to that week there are so many things I remember. One specific memory is that one of the teachers taught us not to light up as a Christmas tree. It stood out because I could see myself decorated with Christmas lights – lighting up all the time. This image has helped so often over the past 6 years.

I remember the day that I had had to go into the playroom because a player was sick but I also had to work. I transfered the telefone from my work and while playing with Tybalt I had to stop every now and again to pick up the phone. After two hours a new player came in and as I sat on the floor telephone in hand I looked up and spoke to her. That was too much for Tybalt. He crept up behind me and tipped his glass of water all over me……….I saw the lights blinking in front of my eyes and quitely stood up got a towel brought it to Tybalt so he could clean up the floor and without adoo went out of the room. I was so proud of myself!

Today Tybalt had a difficult start. He had gone to sleep with the drawings he had made of fruit figures. Misters Orange,Mango and Banana were gone. Taking the whole bed apart I luckily found Mr. Mango and Mr. Orange but Mr. Banana was nowhere to be found. Giving up, I went to take a shower. With the water dripping over me I heard him take out some books from the bookshelf and throw them down the stairs as a reaction to my stopping to look further. There went the Christmas lights again and I heard the words of Bryn talking during The Option Insitute’s Parenting Protocol CD –  “natural consequences”!

“Tybalt,” I said, “Books get hurt that way; go and get them and put them back.”

He didn’t react to me.

I therefore calmly said “That’s a pity because we can’t have breakfast and watch some TV until you clean up.”
(For the last six months, Tybalt is permitted to watch some TV in the morning while getting his biomedical medicines which have an awful taste.)

He then looked and me and said, “Will clean up” and he made a nice stack and carried them upstairs. Oh I’m so grateful for the idea of Christmas lights and I’m grateful to Tybalt for teaching me so much patience.

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