No, Really – “LET GO!!!”
FROM JAMIE: An Absolutely Amazing Son-Rise Day! Looking back and remembering the Son-Rise courses I have taken at the Option Institute, and recalling such learnings as “Let Go”…..”Without Being Attached to the Outcome” …Total Acceptance.” to name a few.
We, Tyler’s team, didn’t realize how much we were going with “our” wants in the playroom with Tyler. We thought we were being totally accepting, but in reality we weren’t – though our intentions were to be accetping… We wanted so badly for Tyler to interact, or look, or have fun ….that we weren’t really ok if she didnt. Today we “let go” and accepted whatever was going to happen – un-attaching ourselves to the outcome. My first session with Tyler, I offered food (in the early stage of gf/cf diet for the 100th time though this time with determination and readiness to make it happen)and she very strongly let me know she didn’t want it. She wanted it out of sight. I put it in the bathroom that is attached to the playroom and let her know she could get it anytime she wanted. She then wanted to leave the playroom. I went and got some plain paper, markers, and crayons to just do my own activity – and being aware this time it really didn’t matter if she laid on the floor the whole session. I wanted her to know that that was ok if she wanted to do that and to also know that it wasnt ok to leave the playroom just yet but she was free to do whatever she wanted. I wrote with marker on a peice of paper “MOM LOVES TYLER.” I then made little hearts all over in different color. I didnt say a word. I then put one sheet of paper across from me in case Tyler wanted to join me and put the extra paper on the floor. 40 minutes into the session she came up to the table and joined me and started helping me color my picture. tears started to fill my eyes for the love I had for Tyler for wanting to join me and because i was so happy that I made the change to really be totally accepting without being attached to the outcome. I then made circles for her to color in if she wanted. I joined her in coloring them. She started to trace the letters – actually trace and not just scribble like we’ve seen her do as an ism. As the paper began to fill up, I took another piece of paper and in big block letters wrote T Y L E R. I then turned the paper around for her to take when she was ready and if she wanted. I didnt slide it over to her, I just turned it around to face her. I didn’t request a thing! When she was finished with the first paper, she pushed it aside and grabbed the new one. I quietly took that paper and taped it to the wall. Tyler then filled in all the letters very nicely and with intent to color them in. I was so proud of her and so proud of me! Another amazing event… 2 hours after my session Jari, a team member, started her session with offering Tyler the same food and Tyler just put her head down. Jari told her that was ok she didn’t have to eat the salad if she didn’t want to. At the end of Jari’s session, she was taking the food with her out of the room and Tyler grabbed the plate of salad…Tyler now had full control of eating when she wanted and when she didn’t want to eat. Amanda, another team member, was excited to make the changes and being more aware and found Tyler to be more present that ever before. We made it a “No-Fix Tyler” day! And that, my friends, I call team work! Letting go, un-attaching ourselves from the putcome, and total acceptance is very very powerful!
Lots of love, Jamie (And Tyler ~ Jari ~ Amanda)