FROM GABY: This morning Tybalt didn’t want to go down for breakfast. In fact he decided to play with his clay. I explained that it was breakfast time and he could play after eating his breakfast. Because he didn’t listen I said I was going down to do other things and if he wanted breakfast he had to get dressed and come down. He didn’t and I went along doing other things like putting a wash in.
On the way to the washing machine I came past his room where the clay was on the ground and Tybalt was lying on the bed without his clothes on. I explained if he didn’t put the clay in the boxes it would dry out and he wouldn’t be able to play with it again and if he didn’t get dressed and come down now he wouldn’t get his breakfast as it would then be too late. He didn’t listen. After 5 minutes I had to make a dicision what was more important him learning a lesson and then this meaning him not also getting his medicines or running the chance of this repeating itself. I chose for the first option.
I went upstairs to play with him (I did give him a glas of drink as he otherwise would get tummy problems from constipation). “I want breakfast,” he said. “I’m hungry.” I explained that breakfast time had come and gone. “No,” he said, “I want to have breakfast.”
Completely calmly (how grateful I am to The Son-Rise Program for teaching me this) I explained that I had asked him to stop playing with the clay and come down for breakfast. “What did you do?” I asked.
“I didn’t come,” he said.
“I asked you to put the clay away what did you do?”
“I didn’t put it awa,” he answered.
“I asked you to put on your clothes to come down and have breakfast and what did you do?”
“I didn’t put on my clothes,” he said, and then added, “I will never do it again”.
“That’s great,” I said, “then tomorrow you can have breakfast – today you will have to wait for lunch.”
“Please,” he said.
Thanks to the Parenting Protocol CD from The Autism Treatment Center of America – especially the part about natural consequences, I kept my stand. When the first volunteer arrived, he becan telling her that he wasn’t geting breakfast (I had told her the situation when I let her in) and together the three of us talked about it and that he had to wait for his lunch.
This was a great learning experience for Tybalt and for mom! I’m curious how it will go tomorrow!