There comes a time in every mothers life were she almost (am I kidding myself) is not the most important person in the life of her son. The moment he falls in love for the first time. Age 12 Tybalt is over his head and ears in love.
It brings back memories to the time I was 16 and I fell in love for the first time. Memories of that time is emerging thanks to Tybalt and I realize now how often my mom had to answer my question “mom do you think he loves me”. There was only one thing I could do, I went and apologized to her for the months of infatuation that I kept asking these questions.
Ah sweet memories…………I remember this time so well and it makes me love seeing my son being so in love. It’s so endearing. There is only one BIG problem, she doesn’t exist. His big love is Rapunzel from the Disney movie. Answering his question “mom do you think she will marry me” is a bit difficult to answer. If I say no he says I’m lying. If I say yes I’m not being truthful. What makes it even more difficult is that we will be going to Disney World Paris in a few weeks and who will we meet there? 3 guesses.We even found a picture that she realy does exist (see picture).
How is it possible that Tybalt can fall in love with a comic Disney movie figure? Well is it so much more different from us falling in love with an actor on the screen? Not really. The chances of a relationship in both cases is slim if not none existent. If I ask him why he loves her, he says “she has such beautiful blond hair and green eyes and she is so sweet”. Can’t argue that. That it is a real feeling is also not a question there are enough situations which proof that. For example the other day I had to wash his hair which he hates. When he didn’t want to wash his hair I said “I think Rapunzel doesn’t like a boy with dirty hair “(not really a son-risesy way of putting it I’m sorry to say but had been trying to get him to make his hair wet for 15 minutes already). Tybalt spontaneously blushed and he quickly washed his hair. The first words in the morning are Rapunzel followed by a fraise…. And the last before I tuck him in is “Mom do you think Rapunzel will love me?” Where do I remember that fraise from ?
The other day he said he wanted to pick her up from the airport. “What will you do when you meet her I asked”. As if I asked the most stupid of questions he looked at me and said “kiss her” . Luckily when he says he is going to take Rapunzel back home he also says she can sleep in the guestroom so I can breathe a bit more safely .
After two weeks of this he is starting to ask himself more questions. The other day he said “ I do so hope she exists”. We had told him that the figures at Disney World Paris are people in dolls playing mickey mouse etc. . He didn’t want to believe this but maybe it is making him think and wonder.
It is so sweet to see him being busy with his big love. Respecting his feeling we talk seriously about it and try to help him. For example the other day he said he was going to take her out. “Did you ask if she wanted to come with you” I asked? “No” he said. “Well maybe we can practice, how would you ask her” I said? “That is so difficult” was his answer. “I know it’s difficult that’s why we practice”. “Come with me” he said. “That’s really good Tybalt if you said will you come with me a girl likes it even better but yours was also really good” I told him. So we practice more social skills thanks to his being in love. We tell him what kind of things girls like to do or get as a present. The boys in the team tell him how they encouraged their girlfriends so they started to love them but also how sometimes it didn’t work for them. The girls tell him what they like about their boyfriends. We told him that she probably doesn’t realize he loves her so he quickly learned the English fraise “I love you”. He also decided he wanted to sing a song for her so he is practicing singing a song for her.
My sweet boy is growing up quickly.I wonder what will happen if we meet Rapunzel in Disney World Paris. Will he do all the thing he plans or will he become shy and say nothing. What ever happens it will be the perfect learning for him and we will be there for him if he needs our support.
In May I am coming to the Option Institute to take the Fearless course. I might just take a look at my fear of helping my child into puperty and how to help myself come to terms with not being number one any more. Luckily he still puts his arms around me daily saying “mom I love you so much” and then I can truly say “Tybalt I will always love you!”
This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
You are such an inspiration for my Son-Rise journey with my 3 year old son, Hunter. I love this share… thank you.
This loving approach reminds me of the movie, "Lars and the Real Girl", in which a young man practices and learns how to love through a life size woman doll, with (eventually) the support of his family and his community. Much the same way Gaby has described with her son, Tybalt. Trust, listening, acceptance and support. Wonderful gifts.