Have you lost your energy, enthusiasm and excitement when playing with your awesome child? Do you sometimes find your eyes getting really heavy when your child is lining up his or her favorite toys, even though you downed a mocha latte before your play time? Possibly, your thoughts have gone rogue and you notice that you are thinking about the deadline you have at work, or you’re fantasizing that your favorite sports team will win the playoffs, or you may be counting down the minutes until the time in your playroom is over. I have a fact check for you! You never lost your 3E’s. They have been at your reach this entire time.
Here are some helpful hints to reinvegorate those 3 E's!
Let’s start with the way you are thinking:
The way we think effects how we feel and what we do. Often times when we are working with parents who have been challenged by growing their tiny e’s to Giant E’s they realize that their thoughts are not supporting them to feel their delight.
Here are some ways to think to support you being a 3E generating machine!
Read these before you play with your child.
- Joining my child is a nurturing and loving act. When I joyfully join my child I am allowing my child’s physiology and neurology to have an opportunity to regulate. Joining is my way of saying, “I love all aspects of you, even when you are in your own world and not, yet, able to interact with me."
If you are trying to interrupt your child’s exclusive time, then you may not be in the moment accepting them for where they are at. Joining your child’s exclusive time is about delighting in your time to purely accept them, without needing them to be different. So if you have the urge to stop this behavior, you most likely are not delighting in it. Let go and have fun following what your child is doing. SMILE when you are lining up those toys alongside your sweetie. He or she will show you when they are ready for the fun you have up your sleeve.
- I am so excited to be a motivation detective. The more that I know about what excites my child, the more I can teach them. Being enthusiastic about finding out what my child is drawn to will help me know what to offer to them when they are more available (ready and open to interact with me).
- Feeling good when I am next to my child matters more than “getting it right.” Sometimes I might be a bit confused or doubting what I am offering to my child. One profoundly powerful way to get through this is to simply CELEBRATE my child. Expressing my gratitude for my amazing child is a way to let MY 3E’s pour out of me. When my child shows me that they are interested in the fun I am offering, by looking at me, speaking with me, participating in an activity, watching me be very silly, physically moving close to me, showing me they want something from me, then this is the time to SHINE my love by telling them how amazing they are.
Did you know that the very act of celebrating others changes our bodies chemistry? Research shows that expressing our gratitude increases the blood flow to the hypothalamus releasing all these happy chemicals: oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. In addition, it is a quickly learned behavior. The sooner and more often you celebrate the quicker it is for us to learn it because we are stimulating the reward transmitter.
When celebrating your child, sing it out, jump in the air and cheer, whisper it in their ear, say it in a loud voice, say it in a SpongeBob voice, say it with your heart and be sincere.
Bring these and other supportive thoughts to the playroom. Tape them on the wall or put then in your pocket. The brain loves these kinds of reminders when learning new skills.
Also, support your body while you are on your fun adventure in your playroom. You wouldn’t go on a two-hour hike without some water and snacks. Your time with your cutie is like hiking up to a beautiful summit. Bring in some water, a power snack and maybe some awakening essential oils, etc. If you feel a bit sleepy take 10 deep breaths and do a few stretches. Most importantly, check in with what you are thinking and know that your 3 E’s are just one celebration away.
Now that you found your Energy, Excitement and Enthusiasm, go and have the best time with your beautiful children!
Article By: Susan Humphries
Son-Rise Program® Teacher