Helping Your Child Be Spontaneous Instead of Compliant

“Spontaneity is: when your child on the autism spectrum chooses by themselves to do a specific skill because they want to, because it’s appealing, and they find it fun to do so… These skills could be:

  • to connect with another person
  • to look at another person
  • to talk to another person
  • to be a part of another person’s world

“When your child can exercise doing skills spontaneously, they become stronger initiators, who are confident, and experience a greater sense of joy in their interactions with people. Spontaneity leads to a happier and more engaged child.

“Compliance is: when your children feel pressured or even forced to do a certain skill or task.

“Compliance eventually leads to avoidance, resistance, and lack of joy in performing a skill or task, and most important, it does not lead to mastering and generalization of skills nor a desire to connect with other people.

“Here are some ways to promote Spontaneity and invite more engagement from your child without pressure from the Autism Treatment Center of America and The Son-Rise Program:

1. “Demonstrate appreciation for your child on the autism spectrum by celebrating them regularly for what they choose to do spontaneously.
2. “Acknowledge that your child is doing their best in each moment. What they are doing has a reason and serves them a purpose. What they choose to do is important to them!
3. “Let your child on the autism spectrum be the leader in their interactions with you. Respect, follow, and respond to your child’s cues and indications. Listen to what they want to say! Play what they want to play! Allow them to regulate themselves when they need to…

“Join them in their world! This is your child being spontaneous 😊. By acknowledging it, you are encouraging your child to keep growing their confidence and Spontaneity.”

Camila Titone, Senior Son-Rise Program Teacher

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