Helping Your Child be Spontaneous instead of Compliant

Spontaneity is: when your child on the autism spectrum chooses by themselves to do a specific skill, because they want to, because it’s appealing, and they find it fun to do so… These skills could be:

· “to connect with another person
· “to look at another person
· “to talk to another person
· “to be a part of another person’s world

“When your child can exercise doing skills spontaneously, they become stronger initiators, who are confident, and experience a greater sense of joy in their interactions with people. Spontaneity leads to a happier and more engaged child.

Compliance is: when your children on the autism spectrum feel pressured or even forced to do a certain skill or task.

“Compliance eventually leads to avoidance, resistance, lack of joy in performing a skill or task, and most importantly it does not lead to mastering and generalization of skills, nor a desire to connect with other people.

“Here are some ways to promote Spontaneity and invite more engagement from your child, without pressure from the Autism Treatment Center of America using some of The
Son-Rise Program Principles:

1. “Demonstrate appreciation for your child by celebrating them regularly for the things they choose to do spontaneously.
2. “Acknowledge that your child is doing the best that they can in each moment. What they are doing has a reason and serves them a purpose. What they choose to do is important to them!
3. “Let your child be the leader in their interactions with you. Respect, follow, and respond to your child’s cues and indications. Listen to what they want to say! Play what they want to play! Allow them to regulate themselves when they need to…

“Join them in their world! This is your child being spontaneous 😊. By acknowledging it, you are encouraging your child to keep growing their confidence and spontaneity.”

Camila Titone, Senior Son-Rise Program Teacher

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